Finally Some Good News

Things have been pretty crappy at our house lately, but we finally have some good news!

After working on it for several months, Alyssa has finally learned how to go down the stairs the right way! Woo hoo! No more falling (though she's only done that a couple of times)! She decided last week that she wanted to go down the stairs herself, so she tried it several ways and finally came to the conclusion that it was best to go down backwards. Now she has full reign of the house whenever she wants. Is this a good thing? Maybe.

In other good news, we took a family road trip last weekend. We trudged through L.A. traffic up to Carpinteria (near Santa Barbara) for Mike's cousin Thom's 40th birthday party. We had a blast. We hadn't seen that side of the family in several years, so it was really good to see them and catch up. The birthday party was so much fun (Thom has the funniest and nicest friends), the hotel was really nice, and we had a great morning and lunch catching up with Thom and his mom. Besides the traffic, the trip was perfect. We'll have to do another road trip soon (though next time we'll try to avoid the L.A. traffic).

I've started my PACT (Performance Assessment for California Teachers), which is basically another thesis. This means I'm nearing the end of the Intern program, and I'm so excited to get my Thursday nights back (I've spent one LONG night each week in class for the last two years) and get my official teaching credential. The PACT is due May 5, so I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm shooting to be done by spring break, so it may even be sooner than that. Unfortunately, there is a LOT of work to do between here and there. Mike has been home on disability for a while, since he hurt his ankle. He's been an amazing Mr. Mom through this ridiculous amount of work I'm doing. I couldn't do it without him.

We're nearing the end of the adoption. The papers were signed this weekend and Alyssa has officially been placed with us! I know, it's been a long time, but this adoption has hit road block after road block. We've pushed through and are now finishing it all up. The final reports should be filed by early next week, and then we should be able to schedule a court date to finalize. We're anxious to have this over with and have Alyssa be officially ours!!!

Post-Holiday Craziness

Things have been pretty crazy around our house the last few weeks. Here's the short version:

- Grandma came home on New Year's Eve, with hospice support

- Alyssa started in a new daycare center on January 4

- Grandma passed away on January 7

- Alyssa was sick FOREVER (ok, maybe 2 weeks), working through all of the fun new germs she picked up at daycare

- Mike and I are trying to figure out how to be a family again without grandma; we've been living with and caring with her for 5 years, so it's going to take some time to figure out what our new normal is

- Grandma's funeral was January 14, where I sang a solo (she had asked me to sing at her funeral way back in high school)

- Last week, Mike and I finally picked up the worst of Alyssa's bugs and had a horrible stomach flu

- I spent Saturday night in the ER with what I thought was appendicitis; turns out I have a 40mm (that's almost 2 inches!!!) hemorragic cyst on my right ovary

When it rains, it pours. All I'm asking for is a sunny forecast. Bring on the sun!!!

Holiday Travels

During our Christmas break, we took a trip to Utah to visit family and friends. Here are some highlights of our trip:

- Alyssa had her first (and second) plane ride; thanks to Benadryl, it was a success
- One or more of us was sick the ENTIRE trip, so we ended up mostly staying home and resting

- Because we were sick, we didn't get to see the majority of the people we went up to see

- Mike's brother got married to an awesome woman and now, between the two families, they have 7 kids (Russ has 3 and Kat has 4 - holy mackerel!)

- We found a REALLY good Japanese restaurant in Park City (and it was really cold up there too)

- Right before we left, there was a HUGE blizzard (the normally 40-minute drive to the airport took over 2 hours)

- Because of the blizzard, Mike got stuck in Utah an extra three days and missed New Year's Eve at home

Maybe our next trip will be more successful. Oh well, it was fun anyway and we enjoyed the time to relax. Now back to real life...

Merry Christmas from the Brimleys

Merry Christmas from the Brimley Family

We have had a busy year: Alyssa turned 1, Jenny started teaching full-time, and Mike started working a second job as a Realtor. We are thoroughly enjoying our Christmas vacation in Utah (though it's too cold!) and are looking forward to being home for New Year's. We wish you the best that Christmas and the New Year has to offer. Happy Holidays!

Happy First Birthday, Alyssa!!!

Alyssa is now officially one year old!!! And man, has it been a whirlwind year.

Alyssa is now walking (and usually running), has 16 teeth, and is 1 going on 16. She's got quite the spunky personality and is a barrel of laughs. She loves playing with older kids and trying to keep up with them. She'll be going to preschool starting in January, and we're sure she's going to love that.

We celebrated with family and a few friends and had a whale of a time! Here's a little taste of the fun...

Hanging out with Grandma...

Opening presents...

Oh wonderful cake...

"Alyssa, you want some cake?"

"Yes, I think I'll have some of cousin David's."

And he wasn't too happy about it.

She ate her WHOLE piece of cake all by herself.

I'm not sure if this is a good thing.

Happy Halloween!

Love,

The Pumpking Patch Family (aka the Brimleys)

Playing With Daddy

Baby's First Steps!!!!!

Alyssa has been taking a few steps and then falling for the last week or so. Then, yesterday, she up and walked all the way across the living room. I guess she finally got over her fears and went for it. Now, all she wants to do is walk. All the time. And she's been practicing her all-out flailing temper tantrums when she doesn't get her way.

So we got some of her walking and playing on video tonight, and here it is. The video camera is finally being used for its true purpose! Stay tuned, there will be more walking videos to come, I'm sure.

I Miss That Baby!

You know, the one who used to sleep all the time, stayed in 1 spot for what seemed like hours on end, and was content to just lay in my arms. This "new" baby is the busiest thing I've ever seen! If I could bottle her energy, I'd be a billionaire!

Alyssa is now a crawling machine and is starting to walk. Sometimes she gets crawling so fast her arms and legs can't keep up and she nose-dives into the floor. It's pretty hilarious. She can walk around as long as she's holding on to something, and has started to stand on her own for brief periods (as long as she doesn't realize she isn't holding on).

She's learned how cabinets and drawers work, so we've finally finished baby-proofing the cabinets in the kitchen.

In other news, I've started my second year of teaching high school science. I've been able to work full-time this year, which is great for the extra pay, but bad for my quickly diminishing amount of leisure time. I'm still working on getting organized and my classroom is a mess, but I'm pretty happy with how my classes are going so far.

Mike has transferred sites to be a roving behavior support assistant, going to various schools around the district to work with the students with the most severe behavior problems. He's also working part-time as a real estate agent. He got a lead today to list a 5 million dollar house and has a meeting with the owner next week. Woo hoo!

Busy with a Capital "B"

For me life of me, I couldn't figure out why I've been so busy this summer. Sure, I have a double load for summer school (teaching chemistry and physics at the same time - ha!), but I'm still working fewer hours than the normal year. I haven't gotten much done from my lengthy summer to-do list either. So what the heck have I been doing?! Oh, that's right, chasing a crawler around the house. I never realized how much more time Alyssa takes up now. And I have a feeling it'll only get worse as she gets even more mobile.

Not only have I been busy, but Alyssa's been busy too. She got quite chunky over the first 5 or so months of her life. But since she's crawling around like crazy and starting to pull herself up to stand, she's been working hard and burning off her baby fat like mad. A couple of months ago, she couldn't get her toes in her mouth because her tummy was too big, but she doesn't have a problem with that now.

The Military Crawl

Alyssa is now crawling. Man, I'm not ready for this. She's 7 1/2 months old already. Time flies when you're insanely busy and having fun.

Alyssa started pushing herself around with her right foot and left shoulder a couple of weeks ago. I called this her military crawl: tummy on the ground, low and slow. But in the last week, she's become proficient at crawling on her knees, which has greatly increased her speed and maneuverability. So in response, I've been madly baby-proofing the house for the last week, because if she wants something then she just goes and gets it. I'm about halfway done and so happy to be decluttering my life. It's amazing how much crap you acquire when you live in one place for several years. I've been meaning to make a huge give-away pile for at least two years, and now I'm finally getting it done. Check out the Salvation Army store in PB for some cool stuff.

One of Alyssa's new favorite activities is trying to follow mommy or daddy around the house. She isn't that fast yet, but she loves when we stop so she can catch up. She also loves tootling around the kitchen while we're cooking dinner trying to catch us. She also, also loves going for walks in her stroller. We went to the county fair a few times last month and she refused to take naps because there was too much to look at while we were walking around.

Other amazing (at least to me) developmental feats she's recently mastered include pushing herself to sit up from laying down on the floor and pulling herself into the standing position. We predict that she'll be walking in no time, which we're REALLY not ready for. But, then again, I thought she would be crawling at least a month ago, so don't bet on my predictions.

One thing we need to get better at is getting her to sleep through the night. She started sleeping through the night a couple of months ago, but then she started teething and it was all over. I'm thinking it's time to start letting her cry it out so she learns to put herself back to sleep at night. She's been getting up every couple of hours and needing to be held and given a bottle before she'll go back to sleep. We're exhausted and need a good night's sleep. Bad. Any suggestions from experienced mommies and daddies???

Busy, Busy, Busy

The last few weeks have flown by without much free time. Highlights include:

• Alyssa turned 6 months old
• Mike turned 30 (wow, he's old!!!)
• We had 2 different sets of family in town back-to-back
• Our first mother's and father's days
• I finished my first year of teaching

This is what the summer has in store for us:

• I will be teaching summer school
• I will spend a couple of weeks working to develop curriculum for my school
• Mike will be developing his real estate business
• Mike and I will take turns babysitting (no more daycare for Alyssa until the fall)
• Alyssa will learn to crawl (she'll be doing this any day now)
• We'll be going to Utah to visit family and friends (and hopefully leaving Alyssa with Mike's parents so we can spend a few days in Jackson for our anniversary)
• Mike and I will celebrate our 5th anniversary

We're excited, but we're already tired thinking of everything we have to get done in the next few weeks.

Baby's First Ponytail and Other Tales

Alyssa finally has enough hair for a ponytail. Well, sort of. If you can even see it, it's only about 5 hairs. Her Aunty Pam fixed up her hair the other day and sent me this picture while I was at work. I showed it to a bunch of my fellow teachers and they loved it.

Alyssa now has FOUR teeth coming in at the same time - three in the front on the bottom and a molar on the bottom. No wonder she's always cranky and drooling like a waterfall. We go through multiple outfits every day because each one gets soaked in no time flat, even when she's wearing a bib. We're careful to keep our fingers out of her mouth because she sometimes draws blood with her super-sharp teeth.

She's also talking up a storm. She's got a ton of syllables down, but the funniest ones are that she says "da da da da" when she's happy and "ma ma ma ma" when she's mad. I don't know if I like that, but I have a feeling that I'll be the one doing the discipline, so maybe it's appropriate.

We think she's going to be crawling any day now. She can sit up on her own, and when she sits on my lap, she climbs all over me. She can roll all over the floor and scoot herself around on her bum when she's sitting. We've also considered the fact that she may just skip crawling all together and go straight to walking. She's starting to pull herself up on furniture, but her legs aren't stable enough to hold her without help.

We only have two more weeks of school left!!!!!!! Yep, I survived my first year in the classroom (well, 3/4 of a year). I'm happy with what I've been able to accomplish, but I know I have a lot more work to do. I'm still getting really good feedback from my principal and department chair, and I've been told I'll be full-time next year, so I'm happy with that. I love what I do, but I'm definitely ready for summer break. I will be teaching summer school, but it's only four hours, so it will be like a vacation. I'll have two weeks off in August, and that will be more than enough time for me. I'm the kind of person who has to be stressed and have a long to-do list to be happy, so teaching is perfect for me.

Moving On Up...

I packed up all the size 6-9 month clothes tonight and brought out all the size 9-12 month clothes - our baby girl is growing like a weed! I saved a few size 6-9 month outfits that still fit, but their days are numbered. We'll need to go shopping to fill in the holes in the size 9-12 month wardrobe, so that will be fun. Because of the awesome generosity of family and friends, we haven't had to buy much, and that has been a huge blessing - diapers and formula are expensive!

We started soft foods this week. Alyssa loves her fruit and sweet potatoes, but she's not such a fan of green vegetables like peas. I have to admit the peas smell weird, so I can't blame her for not liking them. The flavor or texture actually prompted her gag reflex at one point and it made me laugh so hard that I couldn't force one more bite of them down her throat. Alyssa is sleeping much better since she's been eating foods at dinnertime. Most nights, she'll sleep until 5:00 without wanting to eat - a good 7-8 hours! It's heaven!

I got the adoption papers filed with the court this week. Now we're working with LDS Family Services to get the home study done. As soon as that's done, we can get a court date and get everything finalized. We still have at least several months more to wait, but it's worth it. Alyssa makes our lives so much better. Her smile and laugh melt our hearts and make the world a better place.

Happy Surgeriversary to Me!!!

It was 2 years ago today that I let a surgeon cut up and reroute my insides. I had gastric bypass (Roux-en-Y) surgery and proceeded to lose about 160 pounds over the next 6 or so months. It was a rough ride and I've had several health problems because of it, but even with all the trouble, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

At my heaviest, I was over 330 pounds. I started gaining weight in 5th grade, during a year when my world was turned upside down when several people in my family died. I ate to feel better and basically never stopped. I gained weight steadily and became more and more unhappy. It wasn't until I married Mike, who showed me that I was actually worth something, that I decided to make an investment in myself to improve my life. After more than 2 years of research, studying, pondering, and praying, I made the decision to have weight loss surgery. I decided on the gastric bypass over the lapband because I wanted quick weight loss that was permanent. I dedicated myself to the new lifestyle and have had very good success in managing my new (much lower) weight. I still have about 20 pounds I'd like to lose, but I'm not stressing about it at this point.

I feel like a new person, and those close to me say I am a new person. Not only has my body changed, but my personality has as well. I am more confident in my own skin, which helps me relate to other people much easily. My weight always put a wall between me and other people. One of the strangest things for me now, as someone who is still heavy in my head, is how other people feel comfortable getting close to me, like standing right next to me. My "fat girl" bubble still dominates in my head, and I still struggle with this on a daily basis. Also, I don't recognize myself in the mirror,but I don't recognize old pictures of myself either. I'm learning how my "new" face and body looks, but I haven't completely wrapped my head around all the changes. I'm still surprised daily about what I see in the mirror.

I've had 3 main issues since my surgery. The first is a constant problem I've had since day 1 and will struggle with for the rest of my life. It's called "dumping syndrome." I dump almost every time I eat. Dumping happens shortly after I eat, as my body's response to my new digestive system. The way my insides were rerouted, my stomach empties into the middle of my small intestine, so my food gets into my blood stream much faster than in a normal GI tract. About 10 minutes after I eat sugary foods, or any food for that matter, I feel horrible. The main symptoms are nausea, increased heart rate, and sweating. The best way to treat this is to not eat, but since that isn't possible, I remove myself from the food area (the smell of food makes it worse) and go lay down. It usually passes in 20 minutes or so and then I'm back to normal. The second issue was gallstones. I passed several gallstones over the first year and a half after my surgery, and then they finally took out my gallbladder. These gallstone attacks are excruciating. I've been told they're more painful than childbirth. I've never given birth, so I'm not sure about all that, but I can say that I passed out from the pain during my first attack. Then I popped a 104 degree fever and ended up spending a week in the ER while they tried to figure out what the heck was happening. When they finally decided to take out my gallbladder, it was riddled with stones and was pretty much emergency surgery. The third issue is one I'm currently fighting. I'm having a bad reaction to my gallbladder surgery. It seems that I have too much bile in my system, and it's wreaking havoc on my entire GI tract, from the top to the bottom. Without giving you the gory details, suffice it to say that I've been in constant pain and uncomfortableness for about 2 months. I finally got to see my GI doctor today and he's putting me on another medicine that will (hopefully) get this taken care of. He's doing an endoscopy next week to make sure I don't have ulcers too. I'm looking forward to feeling better in the next few days, as the medicine takes effect. It looks like I'll probably be on this medicine for a long time (the rest of my life?), but I'm already taking a ton of pills and supplements because of the risk of malnutrition from the original surgery, so 1 more pill isn't a big deal.

The last 2 years have been a wild ride, but like I said before, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Being able to feel comfortable in my own skin is a huge blessing and totally worth everything I have to deal with, at least for me. I will say that weight loss surgery isn't for everyone. You have to be willing to make a lifelong commitment to the new lifestyle, which includes big changes in eating and activity level. I was ready for a change and wanted it badly. My weight has been pretty much stable, within 10 pounds or so, for about a year and a half. And at this point, I'm at the lowest weight I can remember since elementary school (I hit 180 around sixth grade, if I remember correctly). I'm about 100 pounds lighter than I was when I got married, and about 60 pounds lighter than I was when I graduated from high school. To me, that's success, and I'm happy I did it. Some may call me crazy, but I've been called worse. ;)

To All the Moms...

Happy belated mother's day!

Thank you to my mother-in-law, Diane, for this great piece. Here are some thoughts on mothers. Sometimes you need to take a minute and step back and look at what you've been so busy doing. Then count your blessings, smile, and get back to work.

"I'm invisible....."

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands;I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Pick me up right around 5:30, please."

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cu m laude --but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going ... she's going ... she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this."

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, w ith admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read -- no, devour -- the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals -- we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it."

And the workman replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our life time because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand-bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Alyssa's First Tooth!!!

Alyssa's first tooth is coming in!!! She's been a drool-monster the last little while, super cranky, and chewing on everything. Then, a few days ago, she grabbed my finger to shove in her mouth and chew on (like normal) and I felt it! A tooth! And it was a sharp little bugger. I have seen it, but I haven't been able to get a picture of it because every time we open her mouth to look at it, she covers it with her tongue. So as soon as she cooperates with the camera, I'll get a picture of it up. It's just a little white dot at this point, not very impressive.

5 Months Old

As of today, Cinco de Mayo, Alyssa is officially 5 months old. In my Teaching and Learning with Technology class tonight, I was working on a project to create a movie. This was very last minute and I only had what was on my laptop with me, and no camera, so I decided to make a slideshow movie of pictures of Alyssa to show how much she's changed. And, looking back at the pictures, she has. So enjoy!

Ahead of the Curve

Alyssa had a checkup at the doctor's today and she's definitely ahead of the curve. She'll be 5 months old on May 5th and is growing like a weed. She's at the 89th percentile for weight and 90th percentile for height. She weighs 18.4 pounds and is 26.25 inches tall. Thanks to my department chair, we got a new car seat for her, since her current car seat only holds up to 22 pounds. The new car seat should work for her until she doesn't need a car seat anymore (it's a convertible that holds 5-65 pounds). I'm definitely excited to not have to buy one - they're expensive!

Alyssa started eating from a spoon last week. We've been putting it off because we're super busy, but I got curious and gave it a try. And she loved it. It took her a couple of times to get the hang of it, but eventually she took to it and was gulping down the cereal as fast as I could get it to her mouth. I'm not sure if she liked the cereal or wanted to chew on the spoon, but she sure wanted that thing in her mouth. The only thing that saved us was the kitchen towel that covered both her and the Bumbo - it saved an hour of cleanup and an outfit. It was a brilliant idea, if I do say so myself (it might have been my idea).

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling...

Alyssa is growing up fast. Her new favorite pastimes are to lay on the floor and rolling back and forth, kicking her legs and waving her arms, scooting herself around in a circle on her back, and grabbing anything within arm's reach. She's becoming more mobile and inquisitive and I'm afraid our peace is slipping away quickly. She's already working hard on learning to crawl, pushing herself up onto her knees, so that's not too far away either.

She's outgrowing clothes faster than we can get them too. She's 4 1/2 months old and we think over 20 pounds (we haven't been to the doctor in a while, so we're not sure). She's getting taller and (I hate to say) pretty chunky, but she's a healthy and happy baby. I was giving her a bath last night and she wouldn't lay down on the reclining side of the tub like normal, so we moved over to the toddler side where she can sit up. She liked that because it let her splash even more (she loves getting mommy's shirt all wet during bath time).

We went to Utah for spring break the week before Easter so the rest of Mike's family could meet the baby. She was a big hit and I felt like I didn't see her much the whole week (except when she was crying or sleeping, of course) - everyone wanted their turn holding her. She wasn't too happy when we got home and no one was holding her all day.

Work has been pretty crazy for Mike and I recently. My hours seem to keep getting longer, and now I have class 2 nights a week. I feel like I'm running around all day working and my to-do list keeps getting longer. Mike's still working in special ed during the day and he's trying to get his real estate career going in the evenings and weekends, so he's super busy too. Thank heaven for babysitters.

In good news, Alyssa slept through the night last night for the first time!!!!! Hooray!!!!! She started fussing a little at 5:30 and when Mike said he hadn't gotten up with her, I realized what had happened. And I was so happy. I'm having a great day today.